What I find interesting about the hypergamy pieces is it is always about “feminine” appearance and personality, etc, but from my personal experience, well to do successful men want equally yoked women, even if the man plans on being a sole income provider.

All my professional male friends are married to professional women. Some of their wives still work, some of them have transitioned to housewives. You’d think in the hypergamy space there would be more focus on personal development, self investment, and the like, and not strictly appearance based investment, which is important, but being a well rounded person. Being your best self, whatever that means for you as an individual. I imagine that would expand the dating pool for many.

I 100% agree with you that trying to change yourself to fit a mold is counterproductive and makes you insecure about your truly wonderful self. It’s really all about confidence in the end.